Long Time No Blog

For me, blogging (writing a blog, that is) seems to be such a laborious and self-conscious activity. I did a couple of blog entries last year (here and here) where I analyzed various blogs I enjoy, and why the writers of those blogs write them.

I gladly participated in, and tremendously enjoyed, The 40 Day Fast. I felt like blogging took on a higher purpose, and allowed a large group of people to focus on real needs in the world and how we can meet those needs, instead of being so self-focused.

But all anyone needs to do is look backwards through the full collection of my blog entries, and you'll notice that... well, for starters, there really aren't that many of them. I could say something about "quality not quantity" here, but it wouldn't be sincere. The real reason, it seems, is that I still can't find a purpose for doing this. I could do it. It's not impossible, and I certainly don't mean to sound whiny or upset about what I'm saying here. I have had fellow bloggers compliment my writing and encourage me to do more. In fact, in the back of my mind, I keep hearing my high school Creative Writing teacher's words to me when I graduated: "You have a real and genuine talent for writing. Please don't disappear into the woodwork and never let anyone ever hear from you again." I knew what she meant -- she was encouraging me to cultivate the gift, and not let it languish unused.

But frankly, I seem to be much better at reading blogs than writing blogs. "Well, of course," you might say, "that's a passive activity that doesn't involve creativity or passion or participation." But I do enjoy participating. I enjoy commenting (especially long comments!). I enjoy interacting with the people who write the blogs, and letting them know when I agree or when I disagree. I enjoy exploring the subjects they have started discussion on, and very much enjoy the feedback and give-and-take of blog-based conversation.

I feel like for every thought I have that I could blog about, there are already twenty other bloggers out there who have already written on that subject, and likely done it better or more thoroughly. Again, I need to emphasize that I'm not saying this to sound like I'm down on myself. I'm not struggling with personal significance or relevance. I have a very good sense of who I am, and more importantly, I feel like I am genuinely growing in a knowledge and understanding of who Jesus is, and how that affects every aspect of my life.

But I can't get over the sensation that I'm artificially contriving something when I write -- that I'm breaking no ground, achieving nothing substantially useful. That is, that I'm writing merely for the sake of writing.

And speaking as a reader of many blogs, one of the important things that seems to make them better is when they are written regularly. It doesn't have to be every day, but I don't like reading blogs (like mine) where most entries start out with an apology for how long it's been since I last blogged. When one does not blog regularly, then when a new entry is created, it often goes unnoticed, because nobody bothers to visit any more.

I know plenty of other bloggers who have just sort of stopped blogging. Usually, they don't say that's what they are doing. They typically leave some entry there at the top of their blog, and it's several months old, and eventually they get dropped from my blog roll. No point in visiting when there's nothing going on.

So by now, you may be wondering -- "Are you trying to tell us that you don't intend to blog any more?"

Well, I don't know. I guess I don't want to exclude the possibility of ever writing another blog entry. But I also don't want to do something half-heartedly, or out of contrived obligation. For the moment, I guess this entry can act as sort of a final entry, and a placeholder for possible future entries.

So, yes, I am currently not planning on writing new blog entries. I have Google Reader getting feeds from about 25 different blogs, each of which I read regularly and enjoy very much, and I typically comment on about half of those. I have real-life friends (e.g. Seth and Amber, those rad New Yorkers who we can't wait to visit again!) who I continue to interact with largely through blogging. So don't be sad. I'll see you all around -- you know, in the cyber sense of "see".